"Sonnet 38"
by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
First time he kissed me, he but only kissed
The fingers of this hand wherewith I write,
And ever since it grew more clean and white,...
Slow to world-greetings...quick with its “Oh, list,”
When the angels speak. A ring of amethyst
I could not wear here plainer to my sight,
Than that first kiss. The second passed in height
The first, and sought the forehead, and half missed,
Half falling on the hair. O beyond meed!
That was the chrism of love, which love’s own crown,
With sanctifying sweetness, did precede.
The third, upon my lips, was folded down
In perfect, purple state! since when, indeed,
I have been proud and said, “My Love, my own.”
Discussion Questions:
1. Does this fit your ideas of what romantic poetry is or should be? How or how not?
2. Why might a kiss on the hand or the forehead be particularly memorable, maybe even more memorable than a kiss on the lips?
1. Yes - it's romantic, she's talking about what it was like when he kissed her. She's enthusing about what it's like and comparing it to things, but it's not sappy. (Awesome being able to read non-sappy poetry!)
ReplyDeleteHurrah for non-sappy romance! It DOES exist!
Delete2. I dunno, because no one's ever done it to me. Nowadays in all the more modern movies and stuff everyone just kisses each other on the lips, so for us that would be memorable. I guess maybe because they'd be more likely to do that before you're close enough to kiss each other on the lips?
ReplyDeleteThank you!!! That is exactly how I felt XD As I was reading the question I was like, "Uh oh, I'm gonna really have to think about this one!" Haha! But that's interesting what you said about how the modern movies and just how the romantics of our culture nowadays emphasizes kissing on the lips, so that would probably be more romantic for us. And then like since kissing on the hands and the forehead or where ever he kissed her head, was more exiting or something for her back then because it meant their relationship was newer?
DeleteSadie, do you remember the kisses in Thor? Where does Thor first kiss Jane? He kisses her hand. And she goes completely giddy. She clearly has never had a man kiss her hand before -- and we know she's been in romantic relationships before, at least the one with Donald whose clothes she randomly still has some of.
DeleteAnd where does Thor plant his second kiss, days later? Also on her hand. And she again just melts.
A kiss on the hand can be romantic, but it isn't possessive. It's a one-way thing -- the hand is getting kissed, but the person kissing the hand isn't getting kissed back. It can also be a sign of fealty or reverence -- think about how Roman Catholics will kiss the ring on the hand of a bishop or other important church official. (Or Little John kissing Prince John's hand in the animated Robin Hood.) It is a sign of respect and honor.
So I think when she says Robert Browning kissed her hand first, that's a sign of his devotion to her, of his respect for her. Can it be romantic? Heck yeah. But in a very different way from a full-on smack to the lips.
And then the kiss to her forehead (which he misses, and kisses her hair instead, which is so cute and human!) -- who gets kissed on top of the head, and when? We kiss little kids on the top of the head as a sign of affection. A forehead kiss can be a blessing of sorts (thinking of Aragorn kissing Boromir's head when he's dead as a kind of seal of his absolution). It can be affectionate or reverent, but it's not really sexy.
So he respects her, and he's affectionate toward her, and both those kisses are really show that he values her as a whole, don't they? He's not just physically attracted to her. Also, he's not pushy, is he? He doesn't go for the lips right away. These kisses might not even all happen on the same day -- probably, he kissed her hand when they first met. It may have been days later before he dared to try to kiss her forehead. And only after those had been accepted did he kiss her lips. Or they could have all been in one series, separated by only moments, but even so, they still show him as a gentleman who isn't pushing himself on a lady.
And Nadia, I think you're absolutely right -- she says these are his first three kisses, so their relationship was extremely new and fresh. She had never been in a romantic relationship before. Perhaps men have kissed her hand before as a sign of respect -- that was pretty standard back then. And probably her parents and siblings have kissed her on the forehead before. But to have a suitor do those? New and exciting!
(Okay, that's long).
1. I think it is a romantic poem, for only a few reasons: one, it is not super sappy, and that I appreciate immensely. The next reason is that it is sweet. I like sweet things. And things simple are often very sweet. But simple things also can just be boring, or it can end up sappy. This poem is simple, but in it she managed to find the medium between simple boring and simple sappy, and so it's sweet :) Last of all, this poem is delightfully full of Christian prudence. I like it when romantic poems are clearly about people who are married or planning to be.
ReplyDeleteNadia, yes! It's not lovey-dovey. She's not going on and on about tingly feelings and sparks flying -- she says she wears his kiss to her hand like a beautiful ring. It's a gift.
DeleteAnd you're right, these folks aren't rushing things. They're not just driven by hormones. Robert Browning met her with the clear intention of seeing if they might be a suitable match as husband and wife, after exchanging reams of letters with her. By the time they met, they were already in love with each other, and the point of meeting was to see if they hit it off in person too and could get married.
Also, there's passion in their relationship, and there are undoubtedly sparks and tingles and giddy feelings -- but they aren't what she's focusing on, and they aren't what she's basing her regard for him on.
2. Maybe because it was the first sort of "maiden love" type thing? Once he kissed her on the lips, it kind of signified that they were married or engaged, because back then they only really kissed on the lips once the marriage was a certain thing. So when he kissed her on her hand, it was the FIRST time the guy she loved kissed her, and when he kissed her on the forehead, it maybe meant he loved her back. Whereas the kiss on the lips was more like something that signified an end to the courtship and the beginning of their life as a married couple. I don't know though... I am not super experienced in all the love stuff, and particularly not of the courting etiquette of the 1800s. ;P
ReplyDeleteI went into this a bunch above, so I'll keep this shorter. There's a definite progression here, starting out at arm's length and then getting closer and closer to her lips -- and getting closer and closer to her physical and metaphorical heart at the same time, I think.
Delete